Relationship: What should I do as a wife?

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I am so depressed and at the same time ashamed of my self. For over 4 years, i have been married to a handsome, caring and loving husband but things changed after my husband lost his job 6 months ago.

 Since then, i have been the one cartering for the family even with my pregnancy. My husband has been going from one company to another submitting CVs but they end up not calling him.

 I have been dealing with the frustration of my husband taking his anger over his situation out on me. We don’t gist or laugh anymore and he avoids me, except for some nights when Konji holds him and cannot help himself. I had been talking to this cousin of his for a while now as a friend. He knows about the financial challenges we have been having. He always help out each time i run to him and he gave me a shoulder to lean on whenever my husband's behaviour is getting to me.

 We became close and we talk about everything. Later we started talking about how empty our sex lives are. When i told him my husband had not touched me for 4 months. He also told me that his wife hated oral sex. (This is something my husband refused to do. I did it wit my ex and i enjoyed it.) He started telling me how he loved oral sex and that he is very good at it. 

And how he can try it on me that it will help me ease the pregnant and marriage stress. I really don’t know what got over me, i requested we do something adventurous and maybe try the oral sex. We ended up having s*x that day. I did not enjoy it, even the oral s*x, both the one I gave him and the one he gave me. 

Also, his manhood was very small. He mentioned it as a joke earlier, he said: “My penis is small sha oh” then he laughed and said he was just joking. But lies! Indeed people say the truth when they are joking. Ever since, I have been filled with such disgust and regret. I feel so dirty and i hardly look my husband in the eyes. I did not only cheated, but with a married man who is my husband's cousin.

 is it wise to tell my husband d truth? What if he asked for a divorce? How do i make myself feel better?